Enlightened stepmom's portrait, Part 2

1. What are some of your characteristics that you are not so happy with?
* Needing approval and appreciation a lot
* Wanting to be right all the time
* Emotional and needy
* Lacks fun and excitement in life
* Easy to lose interest or give up
* Can be critical at times
* Can be harsh at times
* Not very sociable (not outgoing)
* Not sure what to do with life and career for long term
* Poor in math and logic
* People-pleasing (wanting everyone to be happy)

2. Activities that make me feel good?
* Reading books ( a trip to the library )
* Prayer times with good friends
* Hotel check-in
* Studying the Bible with people
* Hanging out with my family (esp Filipino side)
* Going on prayer times with my husband (which is seldom)
* Exercise
* Rebonding my hair
* Shopping clothes that are in fashion
* Soulful worship
* Directing stage presentations
* Blogging my thoughts
* Talking to my best friends (I miss Kathy!)
* Eating good food
* Receiving monetary gifts from family
* Buying Christmas gifts and giving them

3. Things that make me sad
* My husband not sticking with our plans and agreements (destroying our trust fir his daughter)
* My husband not liking it when I pray long
* Our marriage not spiritually inspiring
* Thoughts of my husband's ex-fiance and daughter. Just the thought that I can never have a normal marriage and family life.
* When my sister makes poor choices in her relationship
* When any family member is sick
* When the church is struggling
* When my husband does not stick to his word and makes decisions that only favor him
* That we have a lot of debts and we can't move out from my in-laws coz we have to pay all those debts
* We can't afford to have a baby (may God provide)
* My husband being scared of his ex-fiance
* Sad and troublesome news
* Not balancing at work
* Making mistakes (esp, dumb ones)

4. When was the last time you had a complete physical? Next papsmear and mammogram?
* December 2006
* Want to get pregnant this year
* Scared to find tumors coz a lot of women are having them

5. What pleases me?
* A clean home
* A sensitive, loving, spiritual husband
* Family of disciples
* Surprise gifts, heartfelt cards from loved ones
* Freedom
* Beautiful, peaceful scenery
* Exciting trip
* Seeing my family again

... I'd like to be less needy of my husband. Able to do things on my own. Find my identity and purpose that's not necessarily related to my marriage and family life. I'd like to be able to live even when he's not there and not be very affected by his own decisions for his life.

I'd like to be a woman who can hold it up without a need for her husband's affection.